FSB Author Article
Back to School Pep Talk! 8 Tips for a Confident
& Successful Year
By Rachel Simmons,
Author of The Curse of the Good Girl: Raising
Authentic
Girls
with
Courage and Confidence
It's that time again. By now, you've probably back to
school shopped, fashion show angsted over your outfit and even heard
that first bell ring. I've been getting lots of emails from girls
stressing about the first week, so I'm sharing some advice to keep in
mind as you relearn to wake up at the crack, detox from 24-7 access to
all things digital and bid tearful farewells to spaghetti straps and
those cute little running shorts you were wearing all summer.
Kay, here we go.
Don't expect your friends to be perfect. Because, well, they
won't be. If you hold your friends to impossible expectations, not only
will they for sure disappoint you, but it will feel way harsher when
they do. Batters get three strikes. Your friends need some, too. Be
forgiving. That doesn't mean being a doormat. Just give people a little
room to screw up. It's classy. Trust me.
Don't make assumptions about how your friends feel. If someone
seems weird or cold or otherwise unusual, just ask what's up. Don't
decide they hate you or are ignoring you unless you're 100% for sure
that's what's going on. You will spare yourself a whole bucket of drama
by just asking, "Are you okay?" or "Are we cool? You seem a little
distant."
Apologize when you really mean it. Otherwise, bite your tongue.
If you constantly apologize to people, even when you're not at fault,
be careful. You can easily send the message that you'll take the heat
for other people. If you never apologize, you're sending the message
that you think you're better than others and don't take your
friendships seriously. How do you know when a real apology is called
for? Do you regret what you did? Did your actions hurt someone? Yeah,
then now would be a good time.
Remember what you're grateful for. This one helps me a lot. If
you're having a really bad day, just stop and think of one thing in
your life you're lucky to have. Maybe it's your parents, maybe it's
your dog, maybe it's your incredible talent for ice fishing . . .
whatever it is, just stop and go, "I am lucky to have it. Life is not
totally a mess."
Smile. Okay, I admit it, this one's slightly out there. But I
read it in this cool book and I tried it and it worked. Just smile and
you feel better. Plus, people prefer this face of yours to that one you
sometimes show that looks like this.
Take a risk. No, not that
kind. Or this
kind. I mean, take a chance and put yourself out there. Raise your hand
when you're not sure of the answer. Make eye contact with that cutie
you've had your eye on. Ask a person you think is cool to be a partner
on a project. Sit -- gasp -- at a new lunch table (okay, okay, calm
down. I won't make you do that). But seriously, no guts, no glory,
girlfriend. You do the same thing over and over again, you'll get the
same thing. When school starts, the window for change opens. Now's the
time to try something different before everyone gets all crusty and set
in their ways.
Take care of YOU. I don't care how much work you have tonight.
If you need to watch Glee, do it. You deserve an hour to yourself! When
I was in high school, I was obsessed with this show called
Thirtysomething. It was on Tuesday nights at 10. I could seriously have
the biggest test of my life the next day, bombs could be falling
outside, and I was on the couch watching it. Who cares about DVR and
Hulu? If it's going to give you some peace right now, go for it. And
bee tee dubs, try not to waste all your downtime online. It's just not
nearly as satisfying.
Dance. Dance. Did I say dance? Turn it up and just let it go. It's
the best stress release ever. My personal favorites to go nuts to: Walking on Sunshine,
Say Hey (I Love
You) and a whole slew of stuff by
Janet Jackson. (Yeah, I'm old. So?) If you don't like to dance, move
your body in some way. Run, walk, stretch, skate, cartwheel. You get my
drift. No matter how bummed I am, getting my heart rate up always makes
me feel better.
Bottom line is this: Take care of you and your girls (and guys, and
also the animals), be true to yourself and know when it's time to take
a nap. Remember: the rest is still Unwritten.
Happy
back
to school!
© 2010 Rachel Simmons, author
of The Curse of the Good Girl: Raising
Authentic Girls with Courage and Confidence
Author Bio
Rachel Simmons is the author of New York Times bestseller Odd
Girl
Out:
The
Hidden
Culture of Aggression in Girls. She is the
founding director of the Girls' Leadership Institute. She lives in
Brooklyn, New York.